Know

孩子们的挑战性行为

All children engage in challenging behaviors from time to time. As adults, we can help children learn new and better ways to communicate their wants and needs instead of using challenging behavior.

These can vary depending on who is encountering the behavior. To a parent, whining may be viewed a challenging behavior, but to a child care provider, the whining indicates that the child is communicating a want or need. The provider may see other behaviors as challenging (such as hitting), but easily tolerates whining.

Challenging behavior can be exhausting for both children and adults. Preventing the challenging behavior from occurring is ideal. In Lesson Three, you learned how daily schedules and predictable routines can promote positive guidance. You also learned that understanding various stages of child development helps you know which behaviors are age-appropriate and which behaviors are not.

Children’s behavior is a form of communication. Adults have to think about what a child may be trying to communicate by engaging in a challenging behavior. The adult must think about what may be behind the child’s behavior and take the time to understand how to help the child learn better forms of communicating. Parents must be involved in helping you change children’s challenging behavior. It is not something a child care provider can do without parent input. Changing challenging behaviors can be difficult if a child has learned to obtain adult or peers’ attention or preferred items (e.g., toys, candy, etc.) by using these behaviors.

Documenting and Minimizing Challenging Behavior

要了解孩子的通信，它是关于何时发生具有挑战性的行为时的写下信息。保留笔记本或索引卡方便，所以您可以记下挑战行为之前，期间和之后发生的事情。在本课程的探索部分中，有一个有用的工具可以帮助您详细了解您观察到的行为。您可以看到一种模式，告诉您触发行为的模式。随着时间的推移，有了书面文件可以帮助您与父母分享细节，并与他们合作，找到减少孩子挑战行为的方法。

The Illinois Early Learning Project tip sheet,帮助经常愤怒的孩子描述提供商可以采取的行动帮助孩子学习如何管理他们的情绪并尽量减少具有挑战性的行为：

Providing Feedback on Children’s Behavior

在您与儿童的日常互动中，您应该努力为他们提供有关其行为的特定反馈。积极反馈的案例应超出负面或纠正反馈的情况。教育研究人员建议对每一个负面评论或更正（Walker，Ramsey，Gresham，2004）的比例。下表提供了非特异性和特定反馈的示例。

Examples of non-specific feedback:	Instead, you can say:
做得好。	You worked hard on building that structure.
That’s not right.	Can you try it a different way? Let’s look at this other puzzle that you did.
I like your drawing.	You used red, blue, green, and purple. It’s so colorful!
你太聪明了。	You stuck with that problem and figured it out.
我喜欢你听的方式。	Joni has her eyes on me and her hands in her lap.

在上面的例子中通知，还强调描述孩子正在做什么以及他或她的努力而不是能力（例如，聪明）。这些消息，如这些帮助孩子持续存在挑战的任务或情况，并帮助孩子源于工作或善行的内部满足，而不是不断寻求外面的批准。

Redirection

当孩子参与具有挑战性的行为时，您必须响应并准备为孩子提供可接受的替代品。

Redirection means providing an acceptable alternative to problematic behaviors. Consider these examples:

Instead of saying:	说：
Stop hitting.	用温柔的手像this.
停止溅出水桌子。	请保持桌子的水。
不要大喊大叫。	Use an inside voice please.
Quit fighting.	How can you solve this problem?
不要讨论我。	Listen please.

Helping Children Learn to Resolve Conflicts

Another way to minimize challenging behavior is to teach conflict-resolution skills. Adults can teach preschool and school age children to resolve their differences in calm, peaceful ways. Children who can solve problems and resolve conflicts peaceably have more friends and are more likely to be chosen by their peers. Children can learn how to negotiate without hurting others—a skill that will help them throughout their lives.

As a family child care provider, you will need to support children as they learn the conflict-resolution process. For younger children, you will have to be their voice to help explain what they want to an older child. You will serve as a facilitator, and your presence during the conflict-resolution process will help children feel safe and secure as they learn to mediate their own problems.

当孩子们决定解决冲突的计划时，您仍然需要在那里支持他们在遵守其达成的计划中。您可以帮助他们编写计划并在忘记决定时参考它。阅读故事，涉及解决冲突的角色可以帮助孩子学习解决问题的问题，这些技能将在您家和其他环境中为它们提供服务。

See

以下视频显示了托儿提供者如何教孩子如何解决冲突。

Conflict Resolution

Unique Situations in Military Families that May Impact Children’s Behavior

军人家庭的孩子可能会遇到许多more life transitions, moves, and separations from parents. Children may engage in challenging behavior when these types of unique transitions occur. It is important to provide children with loving, responsive care during these difficult times.

不幸的是，军事家庭的孩子也可能会遇到父母或重要成年人的死亡。请确保您有资源，孩子和家人可以帮助孩子应对哀悼。Learn about installation resources, community resources (e.g., programs for grief counseling, school-based social workers and counselors, etc.) so you can be prepared to support a child who may be experiencing stress, anxiety, and fear due to loss or separation from a loved one.

Do

与挑战行为的家庭沟通

It can be difficult to start conversations with families about their child’s challenging behavior. Some parents may truly never see their child behave the way you describe him or her because children may act very differently in different settings. To be able to have difficult conversations, you must first build a trusting relationship with the family. Jodi Whiteman of Zero to Three describes three practices that help with those difficult conversations:

Building relationships with families takes time and attention. Having a family’s trust makes it easier to work together when addressing children’s challenging behavior. Solving a child’s challenging behavior takes a team effort (family child care provider and parents). Online resources can be helpful in learning strategies to try with a particular child. The Kids Included Together (KIT) program can also be a valuable resource for ideas and techniques to address challenging behaviors.

Sometimes, finding solutions extends to collaborating with professional personnel from community agencies and schools. As a family child care provider, you can create and share a resource list of local and installation services that may be helpful to families in addressing children’s challenging behavior. Your careful attention to addressing children’s challenging behavior will leave a lasting impact as each child in your care grows and develops into a caring, emotionally secure individual.