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Responding to Diverse Staff Beliefs

Look back on this passage from the introductory lesson of this course (from the Know section of Lesson One):

当您阅读本课程时，您中的一些人可能非常满意，这些个人是性别膨胀或LGBTQ的个人，我们意识到其他人可能会持有强大的个人或宗教信仰，即性别膨胀或LGBTQ是不可能的。本课程旨在让您更了解性别膨胀或LGBTQ的个人和允许您的程序中所有儿童和家庭感到安全和值得的实践。我们所呈现的许多策略实际上是最佳实践all儿童或可用于确保适当支持程序中服务的所有群体。无论您的信仰如何，您的计划中的所有个人都应该得到尊重和尊严。您无需更改您的信仰，以尊重对治疗性别膨胀或LGBTQ儿童或家庭。正如您在其他VLS课程中学到的那样，包括确保所有儿童，家庭和工作人员在课程中获得应得的尊重和支持。本课程有助于您了解尊重性别膨胀或LGBTQ儿童意味着什么。

作为一个培训和课程专家或项目manager, you will undoubtedly work with some staff members who hold strong beliefs about what is appropriate gender expression, identity, and sexual orientation. In Lesson Five, we introduced the use of the word “some” to acknowledge the different beliefs people may hold. Specifically, we offered language for staff members to use when children share different, sometimes contradictory, beliefs about gender expression or romantic relationships, for example, “Some people believe men can only marry women, others believe that adults can marry whomever they love.” You can use similar language with staff members when they express different beliefs.

工作人员可能强调，家庭将对他们的计划中的跨性别儿童的存在生气，或者工作人员可以分享他们不舒服与性别膨胀或LGBTQ儿童或家庭成员一起工作。You can first respond in a way that acknowledges the different beliefs: “Some families may feel angry or uncomfortable if they observe a gender-expansive or transgender child in our program…” or “I hear that you do not believe boys should dress in ‘girls’ clothing’…” Then, you can emphasize the same message provided to staff in the introductory lesson: “You do not have to change your beliefs to work in our program; however, you do need to treat all children and families with dignity and respect.” Finally, you can offer specific information on what treating a child or family member with respect looks like. For example, calling people by the name with which they wish to be addressed, allowing people to wear what they feel comfortable in, greeting people kindly, listening to their ideas and thoughts, and letting them explore all the materials and activities the program offers, no matter who they are – these are critical ways we show others dignity and respect. Use the additional guidance below on active or reflective listening with staff members. For most staff members, just having their own beliefs acknowledged will ease a great deal of tension. As an administrator in your program, you can both acknowledge staff members’ beliefs and emphasize appropriate practices that convey respect in your program.

Many programs may have staff members who are gender-expansive or LGBTQ. As program administrators, it is important that you create a supportive and inclusive work environment for all staff, including those who are gender-expansive or LGBTQ. The same practices we’ve discussed throughout this course, and the ones highlighted within this lesson, also help create a safe work environment for gender-expansive and LGBTQ staff. Remember to stay attuned to the comments that staff make to one another. Staff members may sometimes forget the importance of remaining sensitive and thoughtful with their language and actions when they are alone amongst themselves (e.g., in the staff break room, or at training and not with children and families).

Families' Reactions or Responses

正如工作人员将对性别表达，身份和性取向的不同信念一样，家庭也会。A parent may see a young boy trying on a sparkly dress in the dress-up area and say, “hey buddy, that’s not for you” or say to the staff member, “you’re not going to let him wear that, right?” or emphasize their own childrearing desires, e.g., “my son isn’t allowed to wear that.” A parent may directly ask administrators about the policies for transgender children, such as which bathroom facilities they are permitted to use. A parent may notice a photo or book which contains a family with gay or lesbian members and say, “you have to post that, don’t you?” or “you don’t read that to my child, do you?” Not all families will react this way, and these kinds of comments or questions will likely not be frequent, but being prepared can help you convey consistent messages of inclusion in your program.

重要的是让工作人员知道你在那里支持他们。When a parent makes a comment about a child’s activity choice, or materials in the environment, staff members need to know that you, as the program manager or training and curriculum specialist, are available to discuss appropriate responses and talk with the parent from an administrative perspective. For many family members, a simple reply can redirect the conversation, for example, “The children in our room love trying all sorts of clothing lately” or “We have photos of all kinds of families, including ones with a mom and dad.” In the very rare event a family member uses a term to label a child (e.g., “sissy”), a staff member could say, “Please refrain from name-calling.” These quick comments from program staff both communicate a commitment to speak respectfully in the program, while also de-escalating the exchange in front of the children. If a family member persists, you can encourage staff to say, “Let me help find our program manager to discuss your concerns.”

在与家庭成员会面时，您作为计划经理或培训和课程专家，可以使用主动听力来承认个人的疑虑。正如上面讨论的工作人员，您都可以听到并承认家庭的信念，而且还强调您的计划对计划中所有儿童的安全和福祉的承诺，并强调了善良和尊重的重要性。如果家庭专门向性别膨胀，LGBTQ儿童或家庭成员提出政策，请尝试向他们询问他们的担忧;有些家庭要求，因为他们希望倡导他们的性别膨胀或LGBTQ孩子，或因为家庭成员是性别膨胀或LGBTQ。其他家庭可能会问，因为他们不相信性别膨胀行为或LGBTQ是可以的。It can be helpful to emphasize your program’s commitment to making sure the materials and activities in the program are available to all children, and that children have a choice in how they participate (i.e., you would never force a child to try a particular activity or a particular piece of clothing). You can also stress your program’s commitment to being culturally sensitive and inclusive; you include books, photos and materials that represent people from a variety of cultures, ethnicities, abilities, genders and families. For families who express discomfort accepting or representing gender-expansive or LGBTQ individuals, it can be helpful to highlight the ways in which their own family and gender identity are also included within the program (i.e., we also have many books that picture moms and dads, several boys in the class have been very active with the trucks this week and your son shared a story about how he loves to ride in his grandpa’s Jeep).

Ways to Embrace Gender Differences in Childcare from a Programmatic Perspective

在第五课中，我们分享了直接护理人员的方式，以接受从文章调整的性别差异，6 Ways to Embrace Gender Differences at School（格林伯格，2014）。Below we return to Grinberg’s ideas from an administrative and coaching perspective and provide additional suggestions that speak to the role of leadership within the program.

1. Group children by something other than gender

As a program manager or training and curriculum specialist, take time to notice how staff members group children for various activities and transitions. In school age programs, are staff members leading “boys vs. girls” trivia? In preschooler or toddler programs, are staff members sending groups by gender to gather their coats to go outside? If you observe practices like this, you can offer some constructive feedback. For example:

“我注意到你今天帮助组织了一个”女孩与男孩的踢球比赛“。当我们根据他们的性别分开孩子时，它可以发送男孩是女孩的消息非常不同，它可以让一些孩子感到遗漏。你能想到其他方面你可以为踢球比赛分组儿童吗？“

计划经理或培训和课程专家可以审查您的计划内提供的活动和活动，以确保在未被要求将女孩和男孩被要求做不同的事物或被迫选择特定性别标签的区域或活动。在第二课上，我们提供了被要求戴着裙子的女孩和男孩，裤子到节目音乐会的榜样，以及适当的回应方式以及为什么。您对这些问题的指导为您的程序设置了基调。

2.用包容性语言开始新的一天，并坚持下去

Just as we encouraged staff members to use gender-neutral language when addressing children, you can do the same with your staff: “Good morning folks!” or “Hello everyone, let’s get started.” When you model inclusive language in interactions with adults, you demonstrate your program’s commitment to maintaining a program that honors diversity. As you interact with staff, pay attention to the ways in which you may subtly communicate gender assumptions. For example, do you ask male staff members about their favorite sports teams and the female staff members about their favorite shopping malls? Do you ask female staff about leading creative or communication activities and the male staff about leading STEM or physical activities?

One way to ward off these more subtle gender assumptions is by getting to know each staff member as an individual. You can find more information about getting to know your staff in Lesson One of the Self & Cultural Understanding course for Training and Curriculum Specialists. These strategies can both build strong professional partnerships with your staff and help you address each person as an individual. Regardless of the staff member’s gender identity, you can use the information you know about them, personally and professionally, to support your conversations.

Also, remember that as a program manager or training and curriculum specialist, you are a key role model for appropriate practices in your program. Look back at the LGBTQ inclusive language information from The Safe Zone Project included in Lesson Three:http://thesafezoneproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/SZP-Language-DO-DONT-Handout.pdf。当您在讨论性别膨胀或LGBTQ概念时绘制适当的语言时，工作人员将跟进。

3. Feature diversity in materials, books, posters and other materials

As a program manager or training and curriculum specialist, you play a critical role in assessing and purchasing materials for your programs. One key way you help create programs that support gender-expansive and LGBTQ children and youth is by ensuring that you have a wide variety of developmentally appropriate materials available that represent the diversity in your community and the world.

There are resources throughout this course that give you a place to start on how to include children’s books or biographies that include gender-expansive or LGBTQ characters, as well as books that portray individuals in non-stereotyped roles (e.g., men as nurses, or women as scientists). In terms of materials, consider the variety of dress-up materials available to young children and offer materials in a variety of colors and patterns when you can (e.g., can you include pink and purple building blocks, tools or sports equipment?).

Lastly, you help to set the larger tone in the program based on the posters and pictures displayed in shared program spaces. Likely, you already think critically about representing cultural or ethnic diversity in the displays throughout your program. Are there ways to include gender-expansive and LGBTQ individuals in the posters or photographs you display in hallways, entryways, and meeting rooms? This is another critical way you communicate that these individuals are welcome here.

4. Create a professional development plan to help educators

Some programs devote administrative prep days to familiarize staff with issues surrounding gender-expansive and LGBTQ children and youth. Staff members set the program tone through language and lesson plans. They also can intervene in instances of bullying or name-calling and, when appropriate, use them as teachable moments.

To be prepared, staff need to develop a shared understanding of gender identity and语能够与孩子，青年和父母沟通。但他们需要知道要查找的内容，他们需要相信他们有了该计划的支持。当您解决多样性和纳入程序中的问题时，请记住多样性不仅仅是关于种族，文化，原籍国，宗教或（DIS）能力地位。正如本课程所讨论的那样，性别和性身份是您是谁的部分;它们是多样性的一个方面。当您提供围绕包容性计划的培训，或者您观察工作人员，了解您的计划内有多么尊重多样性，请考虑周围性别表达和LGBTQ身份的问题很重要。在为年度设立职业发展计划时，您如何主动整合各种性别和性取向的信息？

在本课程中有资源，您可以用来刺激与各种性别假设的讨论以及在您的计划中支持性别膨胀或LGBTQ儿童和青年的支持。尝试在一起观看纪录片或讨论课程中介绍的性别角色测试的结果。请记住，为性别膨胀或LGBTQ儿童提供支持性环境的程序真的是对所有孩子都支持的。它确保了1）儿童，无论他们的性别如何，都可以探索您的计划提供的所有活动和材料和2）程序内工作人员的信息表明所有儿童都能够追求他们的兴趣，无论是这是一种科学实验污垢，编织色彩缤纷的围巾，或在木制工作中心制作滑轮。

5.拥有强大的政策，以支持跨性别儿童和青年

In some programs, staff may not know what to do if a child who was referred to by male pronouns now uses female pronouns. How should program staff designate this child on program forms or on the child’s program records? Program managers and training and curriculum specialists should be well versed in their program’s so they are prepared to help staff with these questions.

“Programs should craft policies that address how to handle names and pronouns, bathroom use, extracurricular activities, student records, and confidentiality,” said Kim Westheimer, director of Welcoming Schools. These issues can be complicated, so consult an expert in your area or national organizations such asWelcoming Schools,Gender SpectrumorTransYouth Family Allies。

6. Engage the entire program community

Each program approaches this differently. As part of the program leadership, it is important to work with the families of gender-expansive or LGBTQ children and youth to discuss the best ways to support each child and how each family would like to approach confidentiality. Some gender-expansive or transgender children and their families may feel very comfortable sharing and discussing their child’s transition from their assigned to experienced gender, but others may prefer privacy around these aspects of their child’s identity. Your support and understanding around these family preferences is essential. Take a look at the Learn resource,Supporting and Caring for Our Gender Expansive Youth: Lessons from the Human Rights Campaign’s Youth Survey,which describes that gender-expansive and transgender individuals are bullied, sexually and verbally harassed, and rejected by their support networks at much greater rates than the general population.

Regardless of the approach you take within your program, remember to make the support of the child and their family at the center of any actions or decisions your program wishes to take. A letter informing the rest of the parents in a classroom about a particular child’s transition to a new name and pronouns would only be appropriate if the child and family in question, as well as your program and leadership agree this is the best strategy.

Model

Advocacy Materials and Strategies

In Lesson One, we introduced three ways for staff to respond to gender-expansive or LGBTQ children or youth in your program: acknowledge, affirm, and advocate. Thinking about all the other information presented in this course, take a moment to reflect on what acknowledgement, affirmation, and advocacy would look like from an administrator’s, trainer’s or coach’s point of view.

As a program manager or training and curriculum specialist, you can provide program-wide advocacy in different ways:

• Have resources available for families who come to you with questions about their child’s gender-expansive or LGBTQ expression or identity. These can be websites, books, articles, pamphlets with basic information, or other materials. This course contains numerous quality resources families can use.
• 熟悉社区的支持。是否有一章PFLAG（以前称为女同性恋者和同性恋者的家庭，家庭和朋友），特定的特定于父母支持团体或知识渊博的医学专业人员？
• 收集最新信息，并继续评估员工政策和程序的有效性，以确保所有儿童和家庭都感到安全并承认该计划。
• Evaluate how your program forms are written. Are they inclusive of gender-expansive or LGBTQ children or family members? For example, are family members able to write in their child’s gender or are they forced to select male or female? Is the child’s gender identity necessary information to collect? Do enrollment forms have a space for “mother” and “father” or for “parent/guardian”?
• 征求自己，其他董事，计划经理，培训和课程专家或根据需要的员工。通过寻求对自己的支持，或帮助他人获得他们需要的培训和支持，您可以为工作人员进行典范，当您不确定时，可以寻求帮助，并且该计划内的所有工作人员在内的，包括领导地位，应寻求专业的发展援助确保他们为所有儿童和家庭提供最佳支持。
• Ensure there are appropriate facilities for all children and families. Are non-gendered bathroom facilities available? If not, what is your plan to address bathroom access for all?
• Use staff in-service or professional development days to address issues of bullying-prevention, gender, and LGBTQ identity. The movie成长凯克provides a good framework for discussing the way a family responds to a young child’s struggle in a classroom and questions around support and inclusivity.
• 评估课堂需求，并确保支持各种发育技能水平的儿童提供支持性玩具，书籍，耗材和活动。例如，您是否有书籍讨论了3至7岁的非陈规定型性别活动，但不适合8至12岁？
• Include your preferred gender pronouns on your electronic communication. This helps communicate to others your program is a safer space, as it acknowledges that gender should not be inferred from someone’s name or appearance.

Listen from experts and families about advice for administrators and experiences with administrators that helped families and their children feel safe and included. What do you notice about these strategies and experiences?

Inclusive Environments from a Program Leadership Perspective

Observe

Take some time to think about scenarios you might encounter in your programs regarding gender-expansive or LGBTQ expression. As you read each of the following scenarios, think about how you might respond. Then read suggested ways you might approach the situation with each staff member. Remember to consider child development and temperament.

Sometimes staff members may consistently fail to use the appropriate name or pronouns with a gender-expansive or transgender child. This may mean that the staff member needs additional opportunities to practice the unfamiliar name and pronoun. In a private conversation with the staff member, the program director or training and curriculum specialist could invite the staff member to talk with them about the children in the program, including the gender-expansive child, until the staff member is able to easily use the chosen name and pronoun. Also, you can give staff members a reminder that mistakes with names and pronouns happen and it is appropriate to just say, “I’m sorry, I meant to say…” and move on. If the root of the problem seems to be the caregiver’s beliefs, remember the important points at the beginning of this lesson. A staff member does not have to change their beliefs, but they do need to treat all children and families with respect.

Use of Active or Reflective Listening with Staff and Families

第三课探讨了积极或反思倾听的结构。反思听力可以用于教练和管理，以避免将工作人员或家庭成员放在防御性上。当员工和家庭在感觉真正听到之前需要解释自己时，它可以削弱他们具有建设性谈话的能力。反思性听力意味着等待，直到一个人分享对他们来说重要的事情而不中断，而不表达判断。聆听后，您可能能够使用以下陈述之一来解释您对其留言或疑虑的理解：

• 我听说你说...
• 听起来好像 …
• When you say_______, do you mean______. . .
• 这可能是......
• I can understand how it is frustrating when. . .
• 如果我错了，请纠正我，但我听到了......
• 从你的角度来看......
• I’m picking up …
• The part I understand is …
• 看起来好像......
• By that, do you mean …

Nonverbal language is important while using active or reflective listening. Is a staff member saying they understand the importance of allowing Joey to try the feathered boa but they have a pained look on their face? As a program manager or training and curriculum specialist, you can use this opportunity to gently point out what you see. Here are some examples:

• I hear you say you are going to call this child by her new name, but I’m concerned by your crossed arms and tense face that you might have some other feelings about it. I’d really like to hear your thoughts on this.
• You believe that sharing the new books about gender-expansive children is OK, but I noticed that the books are still in a box in my office. Can you tell me about that?
• 当我今天在观察你的课堂时，我注意到莎拉试图向你展示她的格子领带，你在另一个工作人员滚动了眼睛。

These statements start the dialogue for staff members to share what they are feeling. Remember to allow staff or family members to share first and confirm you understood their message. Then, when you fully understand the other person’s message, you can emphasize your program’s commitment to creating a respectful and supportive environment for all children and families.