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安全，不安全和不必要的触摸

阅读安全，不安全和不需要的触摸的定义和示例。

虽然安全与不安全触摸的线条可能看起来很清楚，但是当触摸被通缉或不需要时可能更难以确定。根据所涉及的情况和其他人，被认为是不需要的触摸可能会改变每个孩子。

允许触摸

Has someone, who intended no harm, ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable? Maybe it was a casual acquaintance who unexpectedly hugged you or someone who tapped you on your shoulder to get your attention. While these actions are not meant to make you uncomfortable, everyone has different levels of comfort with touching. When you ask permission to touch someone, you communicate that you are considering what the other person feels and areresponsiveto their preferences. Permission to touch can prevent all kinds of unwanted touch, including those that are sexual behavior challenges.

Reading and Responding to Cues

First, you should know that children cannot legally consent to sexual behavior, even if they willingly participate in an interaction. Though they cannot legally consent, all children can communicate through cues. A cue is an expression, action, or words that tell you what a person is thinking or feeling. Responding to children’s cues lets them know that their thoughts and feelings matter. For example, crying is a cue that infants use to let caregivers know they need something. As children grow from infants to toddlers and expand the ways in which they communicate, children need to learn to read and respond to others’ cues, including peers. Read the scenarios below and reflect on how the children in the examples used cues to communicate their preferences on touch.

All of the above scenarios are examples of what can happen when children do not ask permission to touch or do not respond to others’ cues. Notice how the caregivers in the examples used these opportunities to teach children that touching without permission affects how others feel. Teaching all children to first ask permission to touch helps them learn boundaries and can prevent many sexual behavior challenges. For example, if Olivia (the preschooler) does not learn to ask permission to touch when playing doctor, how will she know that it’s not OK to touch another child’s private parts when in the bathroom?

Culturally and Developmentally Appropriate Modeling

While your program should have clear rules and expectations on touch, children’s family and cultural norms on touch are diverse. For example, in some cultures it is customary to kiss others on the cheek when greeting friends, family, and acquaintances. In other cultures touching another person’s head, even a child’s, is inappropriate. Although you are primarily learning about permission to touch to prevent sexual behavior challenges in children and youth, it is also important that you are aware of your own behaviors. For example, many caregivers may not think twice about affectionately giving a child a gentle pat on the head. But if you did that to a child who comes from a family that considers this disrespectful, what effect might that have?

Some children, such as Desi and Evan (the toddlers in the above example), are not yet developmentally able to ask and give permission. It is particularly important that you read and interpret the cues of children who have emerging expressive communication and those with speech, language, and social delays. Desi’s caregiver will need to model asking permission to touch so that Desi will have the opportunity to develop this skill. Her caregiver can do this each morning when Desi arrives and before she leaves in the afternoon. The caregiver can ask Desi, “Can I give you a hug?” Desi may happily give a big hug each time. Modeling this behavior will support Desi and other children in learning to ask permission to touch.

Read the examples below and notice how the caregivers modeled developmentally appropriate permission to touch.

Public versus Private

Though the meaning of public and private may be difficult for some children to understand, you should teach what these words mean in developmentally appropriate ways. Read the examples to learn ways caregivers can support children in learning about this important concept.

现在阅读与学龄前儿童合作的工作人员如何教孩子与私人的公众。万博体育全站app请注意，此护理人员如何将此概念纳入熟悉的日常生活。

虽然大多数学龄儿童普遍了解私人和公众的条款，但他们可能需要在公众与私人环境中进行适当的对话。学龄员工会员注意到，几个孩子将宣布私人活动，试图很有趣。她听到了孩子们大吼大叫的陈述，例如，“我需要搬出垃圾箱。”阅读本工作人员如何支持学龄儿童对私人与公众的理解。

积极监督

The learning environment is a public space and should not have any areas where staff cannot provide active supervision. Active supervision occurs when “staff position themselves so that they can observe all of the children: watching, counting, and listening at all times” (National Center on Early Childhood Health and Wellness, 2019).

Sometimes, through children’s activities and ideas, the environment changes in ways that prevents staff from providing active supervision. Read this example which shows how a teacher ensured that she could actively supervise children while still encouraging them to engage in their original idea.

You might need to increase how closely you provide active supervision for children who exhibit sexual behaviors, even if they are normative. For example, some of the school-age children in an after-school program find it humorous to sneak up behind each other and slap peers’ backsides. Staff can prevent this behavior from happening by providing closer active supervision where the behavior tends to occur, in the gym for example. For this example, the children and youth may need an additional staff member to provide active supervision when in the gym in addition to a reminder cue:

Active supervision, especially when you routinely engage with children during their activities and conversations, can prevent the spread of advanced sexual knowledge among children in the program. For example, the teaching team uses active supervision to support Enrique:

看

儿童和青年需要故意支持学习和遵循将它们放在健康性发展的道路上的规则。它们还需要促进规则的物理环境，并允许计划人员积极监督。预防是最好的方法，您将听到专家讨论防止性行为挑战的策略。

预防策略

利用积极的监督以防止性行为挑战

Do

Asking, Accepting, and Declining Permission

You will need to teach children and youth how to ask, accept, and decline permission to touch. Encourage children to be respectful, but firm. Remember that communication is more than words. It may be helpful for children with emerging language to learn to recognize gestures as well. Review the suggestions below and think about how you can use these ideas when working with children and youth.

模型，教育幼儿一个姿态“停止”。延长手臂和手（手掌面向其他人）是一种普遍且经常直观的手势。当您观察孩子启动不需要的触摸时，您可以为儿童绘制此模型。例如，小孩Kori把手放在杰克的脸上。基于杰克的面部表情，照顾者西蒙认识到这是不必要的触感。Simon模拟了沟通的“停止”姿态，以解释杰克说，“不谢谢”。

• Help children learn to read cues by using reflective questions and narration. “What do you think it means when someone pulls away from you?" Or “He has a sad face.”
• Have children practice asking for, accepting, and declining various forms of safe touch (e.g., high fives, holding hands). “Can I have a high five?” “Sure!” “No, thank you.” “Not right now.”
• Teach children that they are “the boss” or “in charge” of their bodies and that they decide (except when a grown-up must help them and has explained why they must help them) when they participate in safe touch and when they don’t.
• Help children understand that you can decline a safe touch and still be that person’s friend.
• Teach phrases and concepts such as, “You’re in my bubble” so children know when they are unintentionally invading personal space or engaging in unwanted touch.
• 在观察儿童询问，接受和触摸允许下降时，使用特定的，积极的反馈。“利亚姆，谢谢你要求给伊莎贝尔拥抱。”
• Respect children and youth’s decision to decline (optional) safe touch. Avoid begging or teasing children when they decline. If a child refuses to give their parent a kiss at drop-off, begging from an adult might sound like, “Oh, come on, Daddy really wants a kiss. Please give me a kiss before I leave.” The caregiver can support the child and parent in this situation by voicing the child’s intention, “I'm sure he will be excited to see you at pick up. Maybe you could ask to give him a kiss then?”