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安全，不安全，安全但不必要的触摸

阅读安全，不安全和不需要的触摸的定义和示例。

Though the lines for safe versus unsafe touch may seem very clear, knowing when touch is wanted or unwanted can be much more difficult to determine and will change for each individual depending on who the other person is and the circumstance. Providing families with information about safe, unsafe, and safe but unwanted touch will help them understand and communicate what types of touch are appropriate in the school setting.

Permission to Touch

有人意外，没有伤害，以一种让你感到不舒服的方式触动你？也许这是一个偶然的熟人，竟然拥抱你或者让你在肩膀上引起你的注意力。虽然这些行动并不意味着让你感到不舒服，但每个人都有不同的舒适度与触摸。当您要求允许触摸某人时，您会致考虑其他人的感受，并响应于他们的偏好。触摸的许可可以防止各种不需要的触摸，包括那些是性行为挑战的人。

阅读和回应提示

First, you should know that children cannot legally consent to sexual behavior, even if they willingly participate in an interaction. While children cannot legally consent, it’s important to be familiar with the laws in your area regarding the age of consent for older adolescents, since this can be complicated and vary depending on where you live.

所有人都使用线索进行沟通。提示是帮助您了解一个人在思考或感受或传达消息的表达式，措辞，符号或单词。回应个人的提示让他们知道他们的想法和感情。环境提示帮助年轻学生了解学校的哪些空间是私有的VS公众，并且可以进入私人空间，如洗手间。

例如，哭泣是一个婴儿用来让看护人知道他们需要一些东西的提示。随着孩子从婴儿生长为幼儿并扩大他们沟通的方式，孩子们需要学会阅读和回应其他人的提示，包括同龄人。阅读下面的方案，并反思示例中的学生如何使用提示，以便触摸传达其偏好。

所有上面的方案都是当个人不要求触摸或不响应其他人的提示时会发生什么例子。请注意，这些示例中的教育者如何使用这些机会教导触摸的儿童或青少年，无权影响别人的感受。教授所有学生首次要求触摸的许可帮助他们学习界限，可以防止许多性行为挑战。例如，如果Olivia（7岁）不学会在玩医生时请求触摸允许触摸，她将如何知道在浴室里触摸另一个孩子的私人部位是不行的？

文化和发育恰当的建模

一些儿童和青少年，如尼古拉斯在上面的尼古拉斯，可能需要成年人来帮助他人解释他们的沟通。与新兴的表达沟通和具有言语，语言和社会延误的人，读取和解释儿童和青少年的提示尤为重要。Desi的老师将需要建模如何询问Nicholas允许触摸，以便她有机会发展这项技能。她的老师每天早上在Desi和其他学生到达学校时模拟这一点。老师问Desi“你今天想怎么问：”让Desi有机会选择并提供安全触摸的许可。Desi可以选择用拥抱，握手，高五，拳头凹凸或口头问候欢迎。为学生提供有机会选择您的问候语对齐，以创伤通知的方法对齐。创伤知识的方法有助于学生在您的计划环境中感到安全和安全，为学生提供重建控制和赋权的机会。

While your school should have clear rules and expectations on touch, as with most things, family and cultural norms will be diverse. For example, in some cultures it is customary to kiss on the cheek when greeting friends, family, and acquaintances. In other cultures, touching another person’s head, even a child’s, is disrespectful. Though you are primarily learning about permission to touch to prevent sexual behavior challenges in children and adolescents, it is also important that you are aware of your own behaviors. For example, many educators may not think twice about affectionately giving a young student a gentle pat on the head. But if you did that to a student who comes from a family that considers this disrespectful, what effect might that have? Read the examples below and notice how the caregivers modeled developmentally-appropriate permission to touch.

Although it may be natural to pull the sticker off Bella’s back or to immediately reach out and assist Steven, by asking permission, you are modeling an important skill for students. In these situations, students are given the choice to allow a safe touch or to decline and can assert their physical boundaries with others.

成为数字公民

With recent advances in technology, students are connecting on the internet and through social media in new ways. There are a multitude of important decisions that students make regarding which information to share online or with their peers through social media. Students need to learn and practice decision-making skills. While it’s important for students to learn what not to do online for safety purposes, it’s just as important to teach students how to use and interact on social media in positive and safe ways. For example, instead of focusing only on “don’ts” think about how to also teach “dos”:

Instead of…	考虑，讨论和教导......
不要发布或送不恰当的照片	是什么让照片适合或不合适？为什么？您可以发布或发送的适当照片是什么？您如何拥有负责任的在线身份？
DON’T share personal information	Why is some information unsafe to share online? What information is safe to share online?
DON’T use weak passwords	是什么让密码强大？为什么？您如何在线创建强大而安全的密码？
DON’T cyberbully others	什么是网络欺凌？如果你看到它发生，你怎么能报告它？您如何尊重他人在线与他人沟通？

关于数字公民身份的讨论，或者如何负责任地使用互联网或社交媒体，可以塑造学生的技术经验，并可能妨碍涉及性行为挑战的情况。数字公民身份涉及广泛的在线行为，其中一些包括：如何使用隐私设置，如何报告网络欺凌，如何确定在线分享哪些信息，如何创建安全密码，以及如何相应地进行通信在线（Weinstein＆Mendoza，2019）。

Active Supervision

The school environment is a public space and should not have any areas where educators cannot provide active supervision. Active supervision occurs when school staff are able to engagingly observe and monitor student behavior and conversation. Active supervision is one way that educators can keep students safe and prevent a range of challenging behaviors.

有时，通过学生的活动和想法，环境的改变方式可以防止工作人员提供积极监督。例如，请注意在该教室中的滚动号码如何推入拐角处。此展示位置创建了一个不可观察的空间，学生可能很容易隐藏。您希望设置课堂，以便您有视线监督，并意识到大型可移动物品。

Read this example of how the teacher below ensured that she could actively supervise the students while still encouraging them to engage in their original idea.

即使它们是规范化的，您可能需要增加您为可能具有性行为的学生提供积极监督的紧密性。例如，一些七年级学生发现它幽默地偷偷溜现在彼此后面，并打动同行的障碍。工作人员可以通过提供更接近的活动监督来防止这种行为发生在趋于发生的情况下。对于这个例子，学生可能需要额外的工作人员在健身房外提供积极的监督，除了提醒提示之外：“请尊重您的同龄人，包括他们的个人空间和机构。”

When you first think of active supervision, you may think specifically about the ability to observe students’ behaviors visually. However, listening to students can be another critical way of monitoring behaviors. For example, in a tenth-grade science class as the teacher walks around the room during lab, he overhears a group of students laughing and making sexually explicit jokes. For this example, think back to the “responding to sexual behavior in the moment” graphic from Lesson Two, which outlines the process as: pause, redirect, listen, and teach. Here, the teacher may redirect the student’s behaviors by reminding them of what they need to be working on during class time and checking in with specific students after class regarding their inappropriate behavior. During this check-in the teacher can listen to the student’s point of view and teach, by communicating the expectations for class time.

对于年龄较大的儿童和青少年来说，储物室或厕所等空间可以构成独特的挑战，因为这些环境中的成人监督可能并不始终合适。在进入这些空间之前，使用积极的指导来提醒学生适当的行为和期望。例如，教练赫尔曼每天在学生改变PE之前，在储物柜室内为学生提醒她的七年级课程。

See

为防止性行为挑战，您将积极监督学生，教导规则和界限，考虑学生发展，促进数字公民身份。在查看描述预防策略的视频时，请考虑您在学校使用的策略以及有可能改进的实践。

安全学校环境

Prevention Strategies

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Asking, Accepting, and Declining Permission

You will need to teach children and adolescents how to ask, accept, and decline permission to touch. Encourage children and adolescents to be respectful but firm. Remember that communication is more than words, and it may be helpful for students with emerging language to learn and recognize gestures as well. Review the suggestions below and think about how you can use these ideas when working with children and adolescents.

• Model and teach students a gesture for “stop.” Extending your arm and hand (palm facing the other person) is a universal and often intuitive gesture. You can model this when you observe a student initiate unwanted touch. For example, Kori, a kindergartner, puts her hands on Jack’s face. Based on Jack’s facial expression, educator Simon recognizes that this is unwanted touch. Simon models the “stop” gesture to communicate to Kori, explaining that Jack says, “No thank you.”
• 帮助学生通过使用反思问题和叙述学会阅读提示。“当有人拉开你时，你认为这意味着什么？”“他有一个悲伤的脸。”
• 让学生练习要求，接受和拒绝各种形式的安全触摸（例如，牵手的高渔夫）。“我可以高五吗？”“当然！”“不，谢谢。”“不是现在。”
• 教儿童和青少年”boss” or “in charge” of their bodies and that they decide (except when an adult must help them) when they participate in safe touch and when they don’t.
• Help children and adolescents understand that you can decline a safe touch and still be that person’s friend.
• 教年轻学生的短语和概念，如“你在我的泡沫中”，所以他们知道他们在无意中侵入个人空间或从事不必要的触摸。教老学生是什么“个人空间”的手段。
• 当您观察学生要求，接受和触摸允许下降时，使用特定的，积极反馈。“利亚姆，谢谢你要求给伊莎贝尔拥抱。”
• Respect children’s and adolescent’s decision to decline (optional) safe touch. Avoid begging or teasing when they decline. For example, a first-grader refuses to give their parent a kiss at drop-off, begging from an adult might sound like, “Oh, come on, Daddy really wants a kiss. Please give me a kiss before I leave.” The teacher can support the child and parent in this situation by voicing the child’s intention, “It looks like he is not ready for a kiss right now. Maybe things will be different at the end of the day and you could ask for a kiss then?”