Know

当你是一个孩子时，需要一点时间并思考你的家人。您的关系与您的主要看护人，兄弟姐妹，阿姨，叔叔或祖父母有什么关系？想想你的家人在成长上的相当大的影响。相反，想想你对家人的影响。例如，当您正在处理压力的情况或重大生活变化时，您的家庭成员如何影响？这些反思思想是如何考虑家庭动态的示例。

Because you work closely with your students, it’s natural to consider how your students are affected or shaped by their families. Remember that families are complex systems that frequently change depending on each family members’ interests, development, and stage of life. Caregivers, siblings, aunts, uncles, or grandparents can all be affected by a child or adolescent’s behaviors and experiences. Bowen’s family systems theory (1978) acknowledges the complexity of families and suggests that changes in any part of the family system have an impact on all other individuals in the family.

Let’s think about a family that consists of a mother, grandmother, and Steven, an 8-year-old child. Steven has been home-schooled by his grandmother while his mother works full-time. The family recently decided to send Steven to the local public school. Consider how this decision impacts the family dynamics. How does this decision affect Steven? Steven’s grandmother? Or Steven’s mother? Perhaps the grandmother will be able to participate in hobbies or visit with her friends, improving her well-being. Maybe the mother will be able to talk with the grandmother about various interest and ideas, instead of mostly having conversations about Steven’s lessons. A change to one element in this family can have a significant impact on all other family members as well. Next, imagine that Steven begins exhibiting a sexual behavior challenge at his new school. How would this affect Steven’s mother or grandmother? Perhaps the mother or grandmother would need to attend more appointments or connect with community resources or agencies for support. The family would need to shift and adapt in order to meet the needs of the child.

The Importance of Rapport and Family Engagement

As an educator, a majority of your work is spent with students. It can be difficult to find time to connect with primary caregivers or families; however, it is essential to develop rapport with families. Being friendly, asking questions, offering opportunities for engagement, and expressing interest are all ways that you can build strong relationships with families. Developing strong relationships with families creates a supportive environment. If a sexual behavior challenge were to arise in your classroom, you have already established a basic level of trust with the student's family.

与家庭沟通

In Lesson Five, you had the opportunity to walk through the case study of Crystal, an educator handling a sexual behavior challenge that occurred one day at recess. You learned how to respondin the momentand engage in the necessary follow-up procedures事实后. Now that you have learned how to manage the immediate needs of children or adolescents in that moment, you can turn your attention to supporting the family through this experience. Remember that it’s necessary to report the incident to your administrator who will reach out toMIL专家to take the lead on supporting families. However, this lesson will outline important considerations when communicating with families around any difficult or challenging issue.

评估自己的反应和偏见

In Lesson One, you learned the importance of reflecting on your own attitudes and assumptions you hold toward this highly sensitive topic. Acknowledging the biases or discomfort you may have around this topic is a way to prepare for communicating with families about their student’s sexual behavior.

从同理化开始

Empathy is commonly described as being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider what they may be going through. Having empathy for students and families coping with sexual behavior challenges is important and can improve understanding, communication, and relationships. For parents or caregivers, caring for a child that exhibits sexual behavior challenges can be immensely stressful. They may struggle to know how to respond or help their child. Further, caregivers may feel judged by others for their child’s behaviors or that others will think of them as a “bad” parents or caregivers which adds an extra layer of complexity for them as they support their child or adolescent. Families that are supporting their child or adolescent’s sexual behavior challenges may experience any of the following (NCTSN, 2009):

Identify strengths

Prior to having a difficult conversation with a family, take a moment and consider the strengths of the student or the family. What makes them unique? What makes them strong or resilient? Take a strengths-based approach to empower the family and encourage yourself to identify and leverage the incredible strengths the families at your school have to offer.

Sharing Information with Families: Effective Communication

As you learned in Lesson Four, the language you use and the way you share information with families matters. When sexual behavior challenges occur, it’s likely that families will have questions about (1) what is considered normative or expected sexual behavior in children or adolescents as opposed to sexual behavior challenges and (2) the sexual behavior challenge you observed.

支持ing students through their challenging sexual behaviors is not an expected or anticipated experience for a family, and therefore families may not be familiar with the range of normative and challenging sexual behaviors, or even how to handle such a situation. It’s important to keep in mind that, based on their own experiences or culture, not all families will have the same perceptions or expectations regarding their child’s behavior. When speaking about the topic with families, try to create an environment where questions and discussion about sexual development are welcomed and encouraged.

Each student is unique and each situation is complex; sometimes it can be difficult to answer questions about sexual development and behavior in the moment. For example, you may have families ask if the sexual behavior they observe at home is “normal.” If a family member asks a question about sexual development that you are unsure about, it’s OK to say so. While admitting that you don’t have an answer can be difficult, it’s important to not make assumptions or take a guess. Instead, let the family know that you will find out more information by consulting with your administrator, counselor, or social worker. You can say “I’m not sure, but I can find out more and ask the school counselor. One of us will follow up with you as soon as possible.” This action can help strengthen your relationship with the family. It may also be useful to have resources readily available to consult or use when discussing complex topics with families. You may find it helpful to refer to theNormative Childhood Sexual Development & Behaviorhandout in the Apply section of Lesson Two.

除了讨论规范性和挑战性的性行为范围之外，家庭也可能对您观察到的实例也可能对您提供疑问。在与家庭讨论性行为时，这里有一些重要的考虑因素：

Ineffective Communication: What to Avoid

While there are plenty of effective communication strategies that you can utilize with families, it’s also important to be aware of ineffective communication, or statements that may make a family feel uncomfortable or defensive. Below are some examples to avoid.

Avoid labels or diagnoses

与家庭与孩子的性行为挑战交谈时，避免做出假设或概括。当您在第四课学到时，行为很复杂，儿童和青少年传达消息的一种方式。因为可以解释行为，我们可能会推测学生试图通过其行为进行沟通的内容。但是，重要的是不要通过诊断或标记儿童或青少年来跳到结论。只有专家，作为其实践范围的一部分，可以诊断或建议诊断，应介绍与家庭的具体诊断的讨论。例如，教育者可以说，“Your child has been observed repeatedly using unsafe touch in the classroom,”但不应该制定陈述，如，“I think your child has a sexual behavior disorder.”If you are unsure of what you should say, refer to your professional guidelines and consult with your administrator.

Avoid judgment or criticism

Remember that sexual behavior challenges in children or adolescents can be a tremendous shock to the family. Think back to the wide range of ways that families may be experiencing or reacting to these behaviors and utilize empathy when working with families. If families feel judged or criticized, it’s possible they will shut down and withdraw from working cooperatively with school staff. For example, saying something like “If you were more involved with your daughter she wouldn’t be exhibiting these behaviors” can be offensive for families to hear and would likely make them feel attacked.

Don’t compare one child or adolescent to another

避免将一个学生的行为或行为与另一个学生的比较进行比较。例如，使用诸如“课堂上没有其他学生的陈述”可能会像这样的问题“可以伤害你正在使用的家庭的感情并损坏你与他们开发的关系。

通过孩子的性行为挑战支持家庭

根据性行为问题,您可能be working with a family whose child or adolescent exhibits the behavior or a family whose child or adolescent experienced the behavior. Think back to the case study from Lesson Five where you learned about Cameron and Makayla. The families of both Cameron, the child that exhibited the sexual behavior challenge, and Makayla, the child that experienced the sexual behavior, need support.

正如您已经学到的那样，您可以立即支持这些家庭的一种方式是将您的有效沟通技巧与他们有关性行为事件。当发生性行为挑战时，您的管理员可能会引发将家庭推荐给社区资源的支持。但是，它对您也可以熟悉一些家庭的本地支持可能是有益的。

See

Listen as experts speak about the importance of thoughtful communication with families and awareness of biases. After listening, think about how you might initiate conversations with families about their children’s sexual behavior.

支持ive Communication with Families

注意对性行为的反应

Do

As you’ve learned, discussing sexual behavior challenges with families can be difficult for all adults involved. So far, you’ve explored ways that you can use effective communication skills to support families in crisis. Now let’s turn your attention to school programs. It’s important to be familiar with program policies, procedures, and available community resources that can help to support families dealing with their child or adolescent’s sexual behavior challenges.

需要一些时刻并考虑以下关于您的计划的问题：

• Are school staff aware of local mental health or other community assistance programs or resources?
• Are school staff aware of when a family may benefit from speaking with someone on your team about local resources?
• Are community health or mental health resources posted somewhere at your school? Where is this information? Is it in a place where families can easily see it? How is this information presented? Is the information offered in the native languages of the families in your school?

在考虑如何显示信息以及员工和家庭方便的情况很重要，而且建立与当地机构的强大伙伴关系也可能是有益的。通过与当地健康和心理健康资源联系，学校管理员可以创建一个无缝过渡的服务。一些例子包括：了解对家庭的摄入量预约的观点，允许家庭与您网站上的辅导员一起参加第一次会面，邀请来自当地机构的工作人员进入领导讨论群体，或与父母交谈以减少耻辱精神健康问题。这些策略增加了家庭将对您提供支持的可能性，并且他们还可以更轻松地为家庭提供资源。

Consider how your school can create stronger connections with community agencies and resources or how your school can reduce the stigma around mental health services to better support families dealing with their child or adolescent’s sexual behavior challenges.