知道

想想这三个词：安全，稳定和培育。他们的意思是什么？考虑自己的生活中的关系，这些关系由这三个字代表。他人在这种关系中做了什么让它感到安全，稳定和培育？这种关系对你的生活有什么影响？无论你是否认识到它，那么这些可能是对世界的展望以及你成功的能力。让我们来看看一些可以被认为是安全，稳定和培育的一些关系。

Like all families, Chandra’s, Charlotte’s, and Ravi’s families have experienced some stress. Whether faced with single parenting, relocation, separation, financial or job-related stress, strong families are resilient and bounce back. No matter what, they make sure their children have safe, stable, and nurturing relationships. Chandra’s mom has extended family support, close friends, and a strong bond with her infant. She is beginning to build a strong relationship with the caregiver at the child development center. Charlotte’s parents understand her emotional needs. They help her maintain connections with old friends and build new friendships. Ravi’s family communicates with one another, celebrates one another, and spends time connecting and reconnecting.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the Centers for Disease Control define these three words.

• 安全：安全是“儿童摆脱恐惧的程度，从身体或心理伤害中获得。”这意味着成年人保护孩子免受伤害。成年人规范了自己的情绪并监测了孩子的发展。
• 稳定：稳定性是“孩子环境中的可预测性和一致性程度”。这意味着孩子们要了解世界是一个可管理的地方。一致的家庭惯例是儿童提供的一种方式稳定性。
• Nurture：培育是“父母或照顾者可以敏感地回应并满足孩子的需求的程度。”

不幸的是，创伤（如虐待或疏忽）可能会损害或摧毁孩子的安全感，稳定和培育。这种影响发展。现在考虑你的婴儿和幼儿。他们所有人都有安全，稳定和培育的关系吗？根据您已经学到的内容已经学到了本课程，很明显，对于一些孩子来说，答案是“不”。我们不必接受这一点作为答案。我们的工作是帮助加强家庭，帮助每个人回顾他们的童年并回答，“是的。”

您可以通过意识到影响您家庭的压力源来完成此操作。参与涉嫌儿童虐待或忽视的案例可能对家庭带来了极大的压力。本课程的其余部分将重点关注（a）您在一份报告中涉及的行为或问题以及（b）如何帮助经历这种创伤的家庭。记住：任何时候你都不舒服或不知道该怎么办，你可以去找你的MILT&Cs orsupervisor for help. You do not need to face anything alone.

To reflect a little on how your role has a crucial, positive impact on children's trajectory, take a moment to watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris' 16-minute TED Talk video about how childhood trauma affects long-term health. Follow the link below to see the talk:
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime

See

Many families who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect have experienced some kind of trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children. There may also be domestic violence toward adults in the home. They may experience family or community violence.

创伤can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics (Preventing Child Maltreatment, 2013):

• Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.
• 家庭可能会感知它不存在的侵略或危险。他们可能会努力保持自己或他们的孩子安全。你可能会发现自己质疑他们的决策。
• 他们可能会滥用药物或酒精。
• They may have a hard time controlling their emotions.
• 他们看起来很麻木或“关闭”。

Watch this video to learn more about supporting families impacted by trauma.

做

以下策略列表来自防止儿童虐待和促进福祉：行动2013资源指南的网络。考虑您可以使用这些策略来支持经历创伤的家庭的方式：

• Talk to your T&Cs or supervisor for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• 了解父母的反应（包括愤怒，怨恨或避免）可能是对创伤的反应。不要个人接受他们。
• 请记住，经历过创伤的父​​母并不“坏”。责备或判断它们可能会使情况变得更糟。
• Recognize that all parents want the children to be safe and healthy. Compliment parents’ good decisions and healthy choices when you see them.
• 保持冷静，使您的声音保持中性和不威胁。模型直接和诚实的沟通。
• Be consistent. When you make a commitment, follow through.
• 请注意，您可以体验次要创伤压力，当您看到或听到其他人的创伤时可能会发生。照顾好自己，花点时间来解决自己的反应，当你觉得你被压倒时。

You should become aware of the resources available to families in your communityMILor on your installation:

• The military Family Advocacy Program, victim advocacy, and transitional compensation exist to address family abuse through prevention, intervention, treatment and victim assistance. Visithttp://www.milelateonesource.mil/abuse.想要查询更多的信息。可以通过安装行为卫生服务或家庭倡导资源来提供家庭咨询。还联系您的家庭宣传计划，了解可以向家庭提供的教育服务。FAP可以通过安装行为健康资源，FAP咨询服务或民用资源来帮助家庭获得支持和帮助。
• The Family Readiness System (FRS) is the network of programs, services, people, and agencies, and the collaboration among them, that promotes the readiness and quality of life of service members and their families. The services available through the Family Readiness System can help families develop new skills and tackle life’s challenges in every stage of military life. Services vary by installation but may include: mobility and deployment assistance, relocation assistance, personal financial management, spouse education and career services, family life education, emergency family assistance, domestic abuse prevention and response services, child-abuse prevention and response services, new parent support, exceptional family member support, non-medical individual and family counseling, transition assistance, morale, welfare, and recreation, and Information and referral.
• 所有服务会员及其家庭都可以提供非医疗咨询。非医疗咨询计划为现役成员，国民卫队和储备服务成员及其家属提供机密，短期咨询。辅导员在心理健康领域拥有硕士或博士学位，并在州，地区或哥伦比亚地区进行许可或认证，以独立练习。非医疗咨询旨在解决在家庭和工作，压力管理，调整问题的改善之类的问题（例如，从部署返回），婚姻问题，育儿和悲伤和丧失问题等问题。这些个人课程可以面对面，通过电话和在线提供。非医学咨询尚未旨在解决儿童虐待或疏忽等长期问题，家庭暴力，自杀性思想和心理健康问题，但它可以选择面临短期压力源的家庭。有关更多信息，请访问https://www.milelatehoneource.mil/confidential-help/nonmedical-counseling.。

Just like this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

Kyle, age 2, had experienced neglect in his home, and his mother is currently receiving help in the community after the report and investigation. You have noticed Kyle is acting out much more than usual. At the end of the day when Kyle’s mom comes to pick him up, you see your coworker run up to her and say, “You need to sign this incident report. Kyle bit 4 other children today. If this keeps up, we may have to recommend another placement for him.”

凯尔的母亲泪流满面，说：“我不知道我要做什么。我从工作试图成为一个更好的妈妈的工作中脱掉了这么多时间。如果我失去育儿，我恐怕我会被解雇。我要做什么？“她拉出了一个哭泣的凯尔出门。

第二天当凯尔的妈妈进来时，你匆匆忙忙地说，“好消息！我们有一些问题，但凯尔今天做得更好。我们正在取得进步！“凯尔和他母亲的脸上笑着笑。你觉得很好知道只是把东西放在角度上有助于减轻家庭的压力。