Know

想想这三个字:安全、稳定、and Nurture. What do they mean? Think about a relationship in your own life that was represented by these three words. What did others in the relationship do that made it feel safe, stable, and nurturing? What impact did that relationship have on your life? Whether you recognize it or not, relationships like these likely shaped your outlook on the world and your ability to succeed. Let’s take a look at a few relationships that could be considered safe, stable, and nurturing.

像所有家庭一样，Chandra，Charlotte和Ravi的家庭经历了一些压力。无论是面对单一的育儿，搬迁，分离，财务或工作相关的压力，强烈的家庭都是弹性和反弹。无论如何，他们确保他们的孩子有安全，稳定，培养的关系。Chandra的妈妈拥有长大的家庭支持，亲密的朋友，以及与她的婴儿的强烈联系。她开始与儿童开发中心的照顾者建立牢固的关系。夏洛特的父母了解她的情绪需求。他们帮助她与老朋友保持联系，并建立新的友谊。Ravi的家人彼此沟通，互相庆祝，并花时间连接和重新连接。

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the Centers for Disease Control define these three words.

• Safety：安全是“儿童摆脱恐惧的程度，从身体或心理伤害中获得。”这意味着成年人保护孩子免受伤害。成年人规范了自己的情绪并监测了孩子的发展。
• 稳定: Stability is “the degree of predictability and consistency in a child’s environment.” This means the child comes to learn that the world is a manageable place. Consistent family routines are one way stability is provided for children.
• Nurture: Nurture is “the extent to which a parent or caregiver is available and able to sensitively respond to and meet the needs of their child.”

Unfortunately, trauma (like abuse or neglect) can damage or destroy a child’s sense of safety, stability, and nurture. This impacts development. Now think about the infants and toddlers in your care. Do all of them have relationships that are safe, stable, and nurturing? Based on what you have learned already in this course, it is clear that for some children the answer is, “no.” We do not have to accept that as an answer. It is our job to help strengthen families and help each and every person look back on their childhood and answer, “yes.”

You can do this by being aware of the stressors affecting your families. Being involved in a suspected case of child abuse or neglect can bring a great deal of stress to a family. The rest of this lesson will focus on (a) the behaviors or issues you might see after a family has been involved in a report and (b) how to help families that have experienced this kind of trauma. Remember: any time you are uncomfortable or don’t know what to do, you can go to yourMILT&Cs or主管帮助。你不需要孤单。

To reflect a little on how your role has a crucial, positive impact on children's trajectory, take a moment to watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris' 16-minute TED Talk video about how childhood trauma affects long-term health. Follow the link below to see the talk:
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime.

See

Many families who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect have experienced some kind of trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children. There may also be domestic violence toward adults in the home. They may experience family or community violence.

Trauma can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics (Preventing Child Maltreatment, 2013):

• Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.
• 家庭可能会感知它不存在的侵略或危险。他们可能会努力保持自己或他们的孩子安全。你可能会发现自己质疑他们的决策。
• 他们可能会滥用药物或酒精。
• 他们可能很难控制他们的情绪。
• They may seem numb or “shut down.”

观看此视频以了解更多关于支持创伤影响的家庭的更多信息。

Do

以下策略列表来自防止儿童虐待和促进福祉：行动2013资源指南的网络。考虑您可以使用这些策略来支持经历创伤的家庭的方式：

• Talk to your T&Cs or supervisor for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• Understand that parents’ reactions (including anger, resentment, or avoidance) may be reactions to trauma. Do not take them personally.
• 请记住，经历过创伤的父​​母并不“坏”。责备或判断它们可能会使情况变得更糟。
• Recognize that all parents want the children to be safe and healthy. Compliment parents’ good decisions and healthy choices when you see them.
• 保持冷静，使您的声音保持中性和不威胁。模型直接和诚实的沟通。
• 始终如一。当你做出承诺时，通过。
• Be aware that you could experience secondary traumatic stress, which can occur when you see or hear about trauma to others. Take care of yourself and take time to address your own reactions when you feel you are getting overwhelmed.

您应该了解社区中家庭可用的资源MILor on your installation:

• The military Family Advocacy Program, victim advocacy, and transitional compensation exist to address family abuse through prevention, intervention, treatment and victim assistance. Visithttp://www.militaryonesource.mil/abuse为更多的信息。适合所有为家庭提供咨询t be available through installation behavioral health services or family advocacy resources. Also contact your Family Advocacy Program about education services that can be provided to families. FAP can assist families to get the support and help they need, either through installation behavioral health resources, FAP counseling services, or civilian resources.
• The Family Readiness System (FRS) is the network of programs, services, people, and agencies, and the collaboration among them, that promotes the readiness and quality of life of service members and their families. The services available through the Family Readiness System can help families develop new skills and tackle life’s challenges in every stage of military life. Services vary by installation but may include: mobility and deployment assistance, relocation assistance, personal financial management, spouse education and career services, family life education, emergency family assistance, domestic abuse prevention and response services, child-abuse prevention and response services, new parent support, exceptional family member support, non-medical individual and family counseling, transition assistance, morale, welfare, and recreation, and Information and referral.
• 所有服务会员及其家庭都可以提供非医疗咨询。非医疗咨询计划为现役成员，国民卫队和储备服务成员及其家属提供机密，短期咨询。辅导员在心理健康领域拥有硕士或博士学位，并在州，地区或哥伦比亚地区进行许可或认证，以独立练习。非医疗咨询旨在解决在家庭和工作，压力管理，调整问题的改善之类的问题（例如，从部署返回），婚姻问题，育儿和悲伤和丧失问题等问题。这些个人课程可以面对面，通过电话和在线提供。非医学咨询尚未旨在解决儿童虐待或疏忽等长期问题，家庭暴力，自杀性思想和心理健康问题，但它可以选择面临短期压力源的家庭。有关更多信息，请访问https://www.militaryonesource.mil/confidential-help/non-medical-counseling。

Just like this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

凯尔，2岁，在他的家中忽视了忽视，他的母亲目前正在报告和调查后接受社区的帮助。你注意到凯尔比平常更多地表现出来。在当天结束时，当凯尔的妈妈来捡起他时，你会看到你的同事跑到她身边并说，“你需要签署这个事件报告。今天凯尔特4个其他孩子。如果这保持上面，我们可能需要为他推荐另一个展位。“

凯尔的母亲泪流满面，说：“我不知道我要做什么。我从工作试图成为一个更好的妈妈的工作中脱掉了这么多时间。如果我失去育儿，我恐怕我会被解雇。我要做什么？“她拉出了一个哭泣的凯尔出门。

The next day when Kyle’s mom comes in, you rush up and say, “Good news! We had a few issues, but Kyle did much better today. We are making progress!” A smile comes across both Kyle’s and his mother’s face. You feel good knowing that just putting things in perspective can help reduce stress in the family.