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很可能一些儿童和家庭哟ur care will face challenging life events that can put their mental health and overall well-being at risk. Such events might include death, divorce, job loss, relocation, violence in the home, or separation. As a child development professional on or near a military installation, you will also likely work with children who experience deployment, or you may experience deployment in your own family. Deployment is a difficult time in the lives of children and families. Each family handles these challenges differently, and each child will have unique needs. Nevertheless, there are typical changes you can expect as children experience challenging and stressful transitions and life events.

This lesson describes the effects of stressful events on young children's lives while highlighting ways you can support children and their families during times of crisis. You will learn the typical emotional and behavioral experiences of young children before, during, and after deployment, and ways you can support children and their families at each stage of deployment.

Stress in Young Children's Lives

Young children's reactions to stress may be different from older children's reactions. Unlike older children, younger children may not always be able to verbally express exactly what they are feeling, for example whether they are afraid, anxious, confused, angry, sad or feeling helpless (Zero to Six Collaborative Group, National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2010). Often, their feelings are manifested in their behaviors and these behaviors can be clues about what they feel inside. When dealing with stressful events, children may: become clingy or fearful of new situations; demonstrate aggression; experience difficulty sleeping; or even appear to lose recently acquired skills. Let's consider deployment and how it can affect children and families.

Emotional Characteristics of Deployment

Deployment is a challenge for any family. For families faced with repeated or multiple deployments, the following seven-stage emotional cycle describes their typical emotional cycles.

When families learn about the deployment, they are faced with preparing themselves financially, emotionally, and physically. The deploying parent may need to spend extra time at work prior to the departure. Both parents may spend a great deal of time getting ready for the deployment, packing, filling out paperwork, performing routine home or auto maintenance, finding babysitters or making extra childcare arrangements.

Before Deployment

For many families, especially those who have been deployed before, there may be a period of detachment or withdrawal prior to deployment. Family members might emotionally prepare themselves for the pain of separation by isolating themselves. During this period, there might be fights or anger.

Children experience a variety of emotions prior to a deployment. They may not understand why their mother, father, or other family member has to leave. It is common for young children to feel that it is their "fault" that their parent is leaving. This happens often when children have unanswered questions about the deployment. Because infants' and toddlers' sense of time is not developed, they may feel anxious or confused about when a family member is leaving. They may not fully understand that a separation will occur until the point at which it actually happens, or they may not understand how long the separation will last, or even that the separation is temporary. They may be confused by the changes they see in their household. The deploying parent may need to spend extra hours at work in preparation for deployment, and the spouse may be making arrangements for life as a single parent by attending to necessary legal, medical, or financial matters.

All of these emotions can show themselves in different ways. During this stage, the child may act withdrawn, sad, or quiet. Changes in routines may make the child more likely to act out. You might see difficulty in infants' and toddlers' sleep patterns, they may display greater irritability, or have trouble feeding. Some children may cry more, show more aggressive behaviors or tantrums, or regress to previous behaviors (e.g., no longer use the toilet or feed themselves).

During Deployment

当一个家庭成员开始部署时，家庭成员经历了一段时间的组织。他们可能会悲伤，担心家庭如何运作。家庭护理人员可能会因责任而感到不知所措。它需要时间才能结算进入新的惯例。最终，家庭恢复并开发为他们工作的惯例;他们有一个新的“正常”。

Family member deployment during infancy and toddlerhood can be an especially challenging time, as infants' and toddlers' are just beginning to build their understanding of the world through their relationships with important people in their lives. Infants and toddlers look to their important caregivers to help them manage their emotions, especially in times of stress. When one caregiver is gone, infants and toddlers will need the remaining caregivers to maintain nurturing and responsive relationships with them. This helps infants and toddlers better handle the separation. This is not always easy, as the remaining parent or caregiver may also be experiencing high stress and so may struggle to maintain sensitive and responsive caregiving. Your support to families during deployment is incredibly important; you are working with them to maintain the loving, responsive relationships that infants and toddlers need.

Once the parent deploys, children will go through a range of emotions. They may be sad, lonely, confused, angry, or scared. Fear of separation may be a major concerns for toddlers. They may be afraid that the remaining parent will leave or abandon them. They may need constant reassurance that their mom, dad, or guardian is close by or will pick them up from child care.

In child development programs, you may see children behaving more aggressively. You may also see children become clingy, shy, quiet, or fearful. Fears are common for all infants and toddlers, and deployment may increase their fears. They may be drawn to adults for comfort.

After Deployment

As the day for the return draws closer, the family prepares for more changes. They may be excited about the family member's return. They may feel a little nervous about whether their relationship with the deployed family member has changed. As so much development happens in the infant and toddler years, the returning member may also have fears about reconnecting with their young child. When the deployed family member returns, the family goes through another transition. The non-deployed caregiver might have mixed emotions about their changing role; this person has "done it alone" for quite some time and must renegotiate roles and expectations. Children may also have a hard time bringing the deployed family member back into their daily routines. The deployed person may have doubts about where they fit into the family. Again, over time, the family stabilizes.

Immediately before and after the parent returns, the child may be excited and energetic. The child may also feel a little nervous and shy about the parent returning. Children may be scared that they won't recognize their parent. They may also be afraid that the parent will leave again. They may be confused by the changes happening in their home as family members visit and their parents negotiate new roles.

You can read more about infants' and toddlers' challenges with deployment in the Learn Activities resource, Deployment and Coming Home: The Realities for Infants and Toddlers in Military Life from Zero to Three (2009).

See

How can programs support children facing challenging life situations? Listen as this manager discusses how she and her program support families during deployment.

Connecting During Deployment

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Protective Factors: Fostering Resilience in Young Children and Families

There are characteristics of children and families have attributes that can protect them as they go through stressful events. Research on resilience in children demonstrates that a significant protective factor for children is the consistent presence of a caring, positive, and protective caregiver (Zero to Six Collaborative Group, National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2010). This person can be an ongoing resource for the particular child, and can encourage them to talk about their experiences, and provide reassurance that adults in the child's life are working to keep them safe.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, you can support children who face stressful challenges when you:

• Maintain consistent classroom routines as much as possible. This provides children with a much-needed sense of stability and safety.
• 为孩子们提供机会来谈论what is going on, but do not force them to talk if they don't want to. Encouraging children to talk about their feelings and validating them strengthens children's coping as they hear that all their feelings are OK.
• 随着时间的推移，注意儿童行为的变化。行为的变化，例如摘除或退出同行或护理人员，可能表明孩子需要额外的支持。
• Encourage families to connect with other families who deal with similar stressors. Connecting with others allows families to share experiences and healthy coping strategies.

The remainder of this lesson focuses on how you can support children and families before, during, and after deployment.

Support Before Deployment

Most importantly, you can help families find the resources they need, such as Military One Source (http://www.militaryonesource.mil/) or other resources available in their particular Service. Pre-deployment counseling can help families learn ways to prepare children for the deployment.

Encourage families to talk with their children honestly about the deployment. It is important for families to help children understand:

• Why the parent is leaving: The deploying parent has an important job to do and they know how to do the job well; they are not going alone.
• When the deploying parent is leaving
• 在父母离开之前，家庭会一起做些什么
• How the child will communicate with the parent while they are deployed
• What will stay the same when the parent leaves: for example, one parent will still be here for breakfast and dinner, the child will still go to the same child care program, the family will still have fun together, etc.

Also encourage families to start thinking about ways to help the child feel close to the deployed parent. Are there personal items the parent and child can exchange before the deployment (e.g., a picture or favorite t-shirt)?

Support During Deployment

在部署期间，您可以帮助孩子和家庭维持正常的惯例尤为重要。在部署时期不是时候将孩子转移到新教室或照顾者的时间。向孩子保证他们的父母将像往常一样选择孩子。提供很多拥抱和舒适。尽可能简单地回答孩子的问题。

Integrate emotional literacy and problem-solving into your curriculum. Help children learn to recognize, name, and deal with emotions. Talk about emotions every day. Look at pictures of children with different emotions, read stories about feelings and deployment, do activities that let the child identify and talk about their feelings. Help the child develop strategies for calming down and dealing with anger or fear.

准备帮助父母出现问题。父母可能会被孩子行为的变化混淆。父母可能孤身一人，不确定如何提供纪律或指导。父母可能因厕所训练，喂养，发脾气或婴儿谈话而感到沮丧。父母可以经历自我怀疑，抑郁或无助的时期。请记住，父母很重要，以照顾自己的心理和身体健康。帮助他们与家庭准备组，行为健康咨询或神职人员联系。您可以提供积极的指导和纪律的资源，培训和支持。您还可以帮助家庭想到在部署期间让生活更轻松的方法。使用对话，新闻通讯和家庭夜晚帮助家庭分享想法：

• Keeping track of time by putting a coin in a jar each day of the deployment; the child can buy the parent a homecoming gift upon their return
• Going on family trips to the park
• Draw pictures or write letters to the deployed family member
• Have a family camp-out in the yard
• Schedule "date nights" (or days) with each child individually
• Create a family calendar
• Figure out a special way to say goodnight to the deployed family member each night

Support After Deployment

庆祝和家人和孩子。回答什么estions and let the child talk. Acknowledge the child's feelings, and help the child find words or pictures to describe those feelings. Make sure they know all feelings are OK. It is normal to feel shy or nervous when you haven't seen someone for a while, and this can be especially true for infants and toddlers. Recognize that this is a major transition for the family, and they will likely need to be connected with resources and supports. Work with your program to identify resources you can share.

Case Example

Read the following scenario and think about the suggestions provided to support children in your care during the different phases of deployment.

韦恩和纳塔利娅，你班上的孩子的父母，都在军队中服务。他们在亚洲的任务时遇到了，自从以来一直在全世界都在一起。他们喜欢旅行和生活在新的地方。在八年的婚姻中，他们有两个国际作业。两年前，他们有他们的第一个孩子，西纳，她现在是你的小孩课堂上的孩子。虽然他们经常移动，但他们从未在同一时间部署 - 直到现在。Wayne和Natalia都分配了六个月的职责。在某些方面，韦恩和纳塔利娅对这次旅行感到很好地准备：他们知道纳塔利娅的母亲会照顾Ximena，他们已经完成了Ximena的保险和护理的所有预先部署文书工作。他们觉得对这种长期分离的情感造成的造成较少。您可以和您的计划可以帮助这个家庭，特别是Ximena，之前，期间和之后的双重部署？

You may consider the following:

• 鼓励家人开始与Ximena交谈即将到来的部署。
• Talk about where the parents are going and why.
• Prepare Ximena for what will stay the same: she'll sleep at grandma's like she does sometimes now, she'll still go to your child development program, play her favorite games, eat her favorite foods, and have her special dolls and toys.
• Create personalized stories about her parents and what is going on while they are away for Ximena to read while she is at child care.
• Create special items that could comfort Ximena during difficult times in child care (e.g., make a pillow out of one of mom or dad's shirts for Ximena to sleep with).
• 提供Ximena，并在儿童保育中具有一致的常规和可预测的仪式。
• Include reminders at school about routines that seem difficult for Ximena. You can do the same about routines that have been challenging at home as well.
• 与Ximena谈论情绪，并鼓励她通过艺术项目将她的笔记“写作”笔记分享她的情感。当她告诉你它时，为她的艺术添加标题。当她需要额外的支持时安慰她。
• Share messages or notes that the parents sent to the child development center to be shared with Ximena.
• Provide honest responses to Ximena's questions or comments about her parents. For example, if she shares that she is scared, you can say, "I am scared sometimes too," or you can address a question about her parents by saying, "Your mommy and daddy are doing everything they can to be safe." Avoid elaborate responses which can be overwhelming to her.
• When Ximena's parents return home, help Ximena talk about her emotions: anxiety, shyness, excitement. Make sure she knows all emotions are OK.
• Organize a special activity that involves Ximena and her parents once they are back from deployment. For example, a parent-child lunch or picnic.
• Encourage Ximena to express her feelings and share how she feels.

Take Care of Yourself

你为孩子和famil提供重要支持ies. You cannot do that, however, if you don't take care of yourself. Helping children through difficult and sometimes tragic times can be incredibly challenging. You might find that your own mental health mirrors that of the people around you. Make sure you take time to reflect on your own needs. Talk to people around you about your feelings. Talk to your administrator about resources in your community for families experiencing deployment or loss. Taking care of yourself will make you better able to care for children. You can learn more about your own self-care in theSocial & Emotional Learning for Teachers (SELF-T)andLesson Three in the Self and Cultural Understanding Course.