Know

想想这三个词：安全，稳定和培育。他们的意思是什么？考虑自己的生活中的关系，这些关系由这三个字代表。他人在这种关系中做了什么让它感到安全，稳定和培育？这种关系对你的生活有什么影响？无论你是否认识到它，那么这些可能是对世界的展望以及你成功的能力。让我们来看看一些可以被认为是安全，稳定和培育的一些关系。

像所有家庭一样，Chandra，Charlotte和Ravi的家庭经历了一些压力。无论是面对单一的育儿，搬迁，分离，财务或工作相关的压力，强烈的家庭都是弹性和反弹。无论如何，他们确保他们的孩子有安全，稳定，培养的关系。Chandra的妈妈拥有长大的家庭支持，亲密的朋友，以及与她的婴儿的强烈联系。她开始与儿童开发中心的照顾者建立牢固的关系。夏洛特的父母了解她的情绪需求。他们帮助她与老朋友保持联系，并建立新的友谊。Ravi的家人彼此沟通，互相庆祝，并花时间连接和重新连接。

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the Centers for Disease Control define these three words.

• 安全：安全是“儿童摆脱恐惧的程度，从身体或心理伤害中获得。”这意味着成年人保护孩子免受伤害。成年人规范了自己的情绪并监测了孩子的发展。
• Stability：稳定性是“孩子环境中的可预测性和一致性程度”。这意味着孩子们要了解世界是一个可管理的地方。一致的家庭惯例是儿童提供的一种方式稳定性。
• Nurture：培育是“父母或照顾者可以敏感地回应并满足孩子的需求的程度。”

安全, stability, and nurturing relationships are important throughout our lives. Unfortunately, trauma (like abuse or neglect) can damage or destroy a child’s sense of safety, stability, and nurture. This impacts development. Think about the school-age children in your care. Do all of them have relationships that are safe, stable, and nurturing? Based on what you have learned already in this course, it is clear that for some children the answer is, “no.” We do not have to accept that for an answer, though. It is our job to help strengthen families and help each and every person look back on their childhood and answer, “yes.”

你可以被意识到压力房颤fecting your families. Being involved in a suspected case of child abuse or neglect can bring a great deal of stress to a family. The rest of this lesson will focus on (a) the behaviors or issues you might see after a family has been involved in a report and (b) how to help families that have experienced this kind of trauma. Remember: any time you are uncomfortable or don’t know what to do, you can go to your T&Cs or supervisor for help. You do not need to face anything alone.

See

Many families who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect have experienced some kind of trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children. There may also be domestic violence toward adults in the home. They may experience family or community violence.

创伤can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics (Preventing Child Maltreatment, 2013):

Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.

Families might perceive aggression or danger where it does not exist. They may struggle with keeping themselves or their children safe. You might find yourself questioning their decision-making.

• They may abuse drugs or alcohol.
• They may have a hard time controlling their emotions.
• 他们看起来很麻木或“关闭”。

Watch this video to learn more about supporting families impacted by trauma.

Families that have Experienced Trauma

Do

以下策略列表来自防止儿童虐待和促进福祉：行动2013资源指南的网络。考虑您可以使用这些策略来支持经历创伤的家庭的方式：

• 与你交谈MILT&Cs orsupervisor for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• 了解父母的反应（包括愤怒，怨恨或避免）可能是对创伤的反应。不要个人接受他们。
• 请记住，经历过创伤的父​​母并不“坏”。责备或判断它们可能会使情况变得更糟。
• 认识到所有父母都希望他们的孩子安全健康。当你看到它们时，赞美父母的良好决策和健康的选择。
• 保持冷静，使您的声音保持中性和不威胁。模型直接和诚实的沟通。
• Be consistent. When you make a commitment, follow through.
• Be aware that you could experience secondary traumatic stress, which can occur when you see or hear about trauma to others. Take care of yourself and take time to address your own reactions when you feel you are getting overwhelmed.

You should become aware of the resources available to families in your communityMILor on your installation:

• The military Family Advocacy Program, victim advocacy, and transitional compensation exist to address family abuse through prevention, intervention, treatment and victim assistance. Visithttp://www.militaryonesource.mil/abusefor more information.
• The Family Readiness System (FRS) is the network of programs, services, people, and agencies, and the collaboration among them, that promotes the readiness and quality of life of service members and their families. The services available through the Family Readiness System can help families develop new skills and tackle life’s challenges in every stage of military life. Services vary by installation but may include: mobility and deployment assistance, relocation assistance, personal financial management, spouse education and career services, family life education, emergency family assistance, domestic abuse prevention and response services, child abuse prevention and response services, new parent support, exceptional family member support, non-medical individual and family counseling, transition assistance, morale, welfare, and recreation, and Information and referral.
• 所有服务会员及其家庭都可以提供非医疗咨询。非医疗咨询计划为现役成员，国民卫队和储备服务成员及其家属提供机密，短期咨询。辅导员在心理健康领域拥有硕士或博士学位，并在州，地区或哥伦比亚地区进行许可或认证，以独立练习。非医疗咨询旨在解决在家庭和工作，压力管理，调整问题的改善之类的问题（例如，从部署返回），婚姻问题，育儿和悲伤和丧失问题等问题。这些个人课程可以面对面，通过电话和在线提供。非医学咨询尚未旨在解决儿童虐待或疏忽等长期问题，家庭暴力，自杀性思想和心理健康问题，但它可以选择面临短期压力源的家庭。有关更多信息，请访问https://www.milelatehoneource.mil/confidential-help/nonmedical-counseling..

Just like this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

Kyle had experienced neglect in his home, and his mother is currently receiving help in the community after the report and investigation. You have noticed Kyle is acting out much more than usual. At the end of the day when Kyle’s mom comes to pick him up, you see your coworker run up to her and say, “You need to sign this incident report. Kyle hit 4 other children today. If this keeps up, we may have to recommend another placement for him.”

Kyle’s mother breaks down in tears and says, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve taken off so much time from work trying to be a better mom. If I lose this after-school space, I’m afraid I’ll be fired. What am I going to do?” She pulls a crying Kyle out the door.

The next day when Kyle’s mom comes in, you rush up and say, “Good news! We had a few issues, but Kyle did much better today. We are making progress!” A smile comes across both Kyle’s and his mother’s face. You feel good knowing that just putting things in perspective can help reduce stress in the family.