Know

Think about these three words: Safety, Stability, and Nurture. What do they mean? Think about a relationship in your own life that was represented by these three words. What did others in the relationship do that made it feel safe, stable, and nurturing? What impact did that relationship have on your life? Whether you recognize it or not, relationships like these likely shaped your outlook on the world and your ability to succeed. Let’s take a look at a few relationships that could be considered safe, stable, and nurturing.

Like all families, Chandra’s, Charlotte’s, and Ravi’s families have experienced some stress. Whether faced with single parenting, relocation, separation, financial or job-related stress, strong families are resilient and bounce back. No matter what, they make sure their children have safe, stable, and nurturing relationships. Chandra’s mom has extended family support, close friends, and a strong bond with her infant. She is beginning to build a strong relationship with the caregiver at the child development center. Charlotte’s parents understand her emotional needs. They help her maintain connections with old friends and build new friendships. Ravi’s family communicates with one another, celebrates one another, and spends time connecting and reconnecting.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the Centers for Disease Control define these three words.

• Safety: Safety is “the extent to which a child is free from fear and secure from physical or psychological harm.” This means that adults protect child from harm. Adults regulate their own emotions and monitor children’s development.
• 稳定性: Stability is “the degree of predictability and consistency in a child’s environment.” This means the child comes to learn that the world is a manageable place. Consistent family routines are one way stability is provided for children.
• Nurture: Nurture is “the extent to which a parent or caregiver is available and able to sensitively respond to and meet the needs of their child.”

安全、稳定和培养人际关系在我们的一生中都很重要。不幸的是，创伤（如虐待或忽视）会损害或摧毁孩子的安全感、稳定感和养育能力。这影响了发展。想想你照顾的学龄儿童。他们之间的关系是否都是安全的、稳定的、有教养的？根据你在本课程中已经学到的知识，很明显，对于一些孩子来说，答案是“不”。不过，我们不必接受这个答案。我们的工作是帮助巩固家庭，帮助每个人回顾自己的童年并回答“是的”

你可以通过意识到影响你家庭的压力来做到这一点。涉嫌虐待或忽视儿童的案件会给家庭带来很大的压力。本课程的其余部分将集中于（a）在家庭参与报告后，您可能看到的行为或问题，以及（b）如何帮助经历过这种创伤的家庭。记住：任何时候你感到不舒服或不知道该做什么，你可以去你的t&C或主管那里寻求帮助。你不需要独自面对任何事情。

See

Many families who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect have experienced some kind of trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children. There may also be domestic violence toward adults in the home. They may experience family or community violence.

Trauma can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics (Preventing Child Maltreatment, 2013):

Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.

在不存在攻击或危险的地方，家庭可能会察觉到攻击或危险。他们可能会努力保护自己或孩子的安全。你可能会发现自己在质疑他们的决策。

• 他们可能滥用药物或酒精。
• 他们可能很难控制自己的情绪。
• They may seem numb or “shut down.”

观看此视频了解更多有关支持受创伤影响的家庭的信息。

Families that have Experienced Trauma

Do

The following list of strategies is from the Preventing Child Maltreatment and Promoting Well-Being: A Network for Action 2013 Resource Guide. Consider ways you can use these strategies to support families who have experienced trauma:

• Talk to yourMILT&Cs orsupervisor for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• Understand that parents’ reactions (including anger, resentment, or avoidance) may be reactions to trauma. Do not take them personally.
• Remember that parents who have experienced trauma are not “bad.” Blaming or judging them is likely to make the situation worse.
• Recognize that all parents want their children to be safe and healthy. Compliment parents’ good decisions and healthy choices when you see them.
• Stay calm, and keep your voice as neutral and non-threatening as possible. Model direct and honest communication.
• 保持一致。当你做出承诺时，坚持到底。
• Be aware that you could experience secondary traumatic stress, which can occur when you see or hear about trauma to others. Take care of yourself and take time to address your own reactions when you feel you are getting overwhelmed.

你应该意识到你所在社区的家庭可以利用的资源MILor on your installation:

• The military Family Advocacy Program, victim advocacy, and transitional compensation exist to address family abuse through prevention, intervention, treatment and victim assistance. Visithttp://www.militaryonesource.mil/abuse更多信息。
• 家庭准备系统（FRS）是由计划、服务、人员和机构以及它们之间的协作组成的网络，旨在提高服务人员及其家庭的准备状态和生活质量。通过家庭准备系统提供的服务可以帮助家庭在军事生活的每个阶段发展新技能和应对生活挑战。服务因设施而异，但可能包括：流动和部署援助、搬迁援助、个人财务管理、配偶教育和职业服务、家庭生活教育、紧急家庭援助、家庭虐待预防和应对服务、虐待儿童预防和应对服务、新父母支持，特殊的家庭成员支持、非医疗个人和家庭咨询、过渡援助、士气、福利和娱乐、信息和转诊。
• Non-medical counseling is available to all Service members and their families at no cost. Non-medical counseling programs provide confidential, short term counseling to active duty members, National Guard and reserve service members and their families. Counselors possess a master’s or doctorate degree in a mental health field and are licensed or certified in a state, territory or the District of Columbia to practice independently. Non-medical counseling is designed to address issues such as improving relationships at home and work, stress management, adjustment issues (for example, returning from a deployment), marital problems, parenting, and grief and loss issues. These personal sessions are available face-to-face, by phone, and online. Non-medical counseling is not designed to address long-term issues such as child abuse or neglect, domestic violence, suicidal ideation and mental health issues, but it can be an option for families that are facing short-term stressors. For more information, visithttps://www.militaryonesource.mil/confidential-help/non-medical-counseling.

Just like this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

Kyle had experienced neglect in his home, and his mother is currently receiving help in the community after the report and investigation. You have noticed Kyle is acting out much more than usual. At the end of the day when Kyle’s mom comes to pick him up, you see your coworker run up to her and say, “You need to sign this incident report. Kyle hit 4 other children today. If this keeps up, we may have to recommend another placement for him.”

Kyle’s mother breaks down in tears and says, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve taken off so much time from work trying to be a better mom. If I lose this after-school space, I’m afraid I’ll be fired. What am I going to do?” She pulls a crying Kyle out the door.

The next day when Kyle’s mom comes in, you rush up and say, “Good news! We had a few issues, but Kyle did much better today. We are making progress!” A smile comes across both Kyle’s and his mother’s face. You feel good knowing that just putting things in perspective can help reduce stress in the family.