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It is likely that some children and families in your care will face challenging life events that can put their mental health and overall well-being at risk. Such events might include death, divorce, job loss, relocation, violence in the home, or separation. As a child-development professional on or near a military installation, you will also likely work with children who experience deployment, or you may experience deployment in your own family. Deployment is a difficult time in the lives of children and families. Each family handles these challenges differently, and each child will have unique needs. Nevertheless, there are typical changes you can expect as children experience challenging and stressful transitions and life events.

这节课描述了压力事件对儿童生活的影响，同时强调了在危机时期如何支持儿童及其家庭。您将学习儿童和青年在部署之前、期间和之后的典型情感和行为体验，以及在部署的每个阶段如何支持儿童及其家庭。

Stress in Young Children's Lives

Unlike younger children, older children are typically able to verbally express what they are feeling, whether it is fear, anxiety, confusion, anger, sadness, or helplessness (Zero to Six Collaborative Group, National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2010). Older children and youth may even be able to express the reasons behind their feelings. That being said, the level of self-awareness and verbal expression of emotions can vary from child to child. Children and youth may not always use their words, or even have the right words for the complex emotions they may feel (e.g., pride in their parents' military service, but also fear for their safety during deployment). Children's feelings can sometimes still be manifested in their behaviors, and this is especially true for young school-agers. School-age staff members can look to these behaviors as clues to what children are experiencing inside. When dealing with stressful events, children may: become clingy or fearful of new situations; demonstrate aggression; experience difficulty sleeping; or even appear to lose recently acquired skills. Let's consider deployment and how it can affect children and families.

Emotional Characteristics of Deployment

部署是任何家庭的挑战。对于面临重复或多重部署的家庭，以下七阶段的情绪周期描述了他们的典型体验。

当家庭了解部署时，他们面临着在经济，情感和身体上准备自己。部署父母可能需要在出发前度过额外的时间。父母都可能花费大量时间为部署，包装，填写文书工作做好准备，表演日常家庭或汽车维护，寻找保姆或制定额外的儿童保育安排。

Before Deployment

For many families, especially those who have been deployed before, there may be a period of detachment or withdrawal prior to deployment. Family members might emotionally prepare themselves for the pain of separation by isolating themselves. During this period, there might be fights or anger.

孩子们在经历各种各样的情绪a deployment. They may not always understand why their mother, father, or other family member has to leave. It is common for young children to feel that it is their "fault" that their parent is leaving. This happens often when children have unanswered questions about the deployment. Because young school-age children are still developing a sense of time, they may feel anxious or confused about when a family member is leaving. They may not understand how long the separation will last or even that the separation is temporary. They may be confused by the changes they see in their household. Older children, especially those who have experienced deployment before may be angry, sad, or scared about their parent leaving. They may feel frustrated about additional household tasks they have been asked to take on (e.g., more chores than usual). The deploying parent may need to spend extra hours at work in preparation for deployment, and the spouse may be making arrangements for life as a single parent by attending to necessary legal, medical, or financial matters.

All of these emotions can show themselves in different ways. During this stage, the child may act withdrawn, sad, or quiet. Changes in routines may make the child more likely to act out. You might see more aggressive behaviors, tantrums, crying, or regressing (e.g., problems with self-care routines the child had previously mastered, like packing their own lunch).

During Deployment

When a family member begins their deployment, the at-home family members go through a period of disorganization. They may be sad and anxious about how the family will function. The at-home caregiver may feel overwhelmed by responsibility. It takes some time to settle into a new routine. Eventually the family recovers and develops routines that work for them; they have a new "normal."

Once the parent has deployed, children will go through a range of emotions. They may be sad, lonely, confused, angry, or scared. Fear of separation is one of the major concerns of school-age children. They may be afraid that the remaining parent will also leave. They may need constant reassurance that their parent or guardian is close by or will pick them up from your school-age program. They may be afraid that the deployed parent is in danger.

With all these changes, you may sometimes see children behaving more aggressively. You may also see children become clingy, shy, quiet, or fearful. Fears are common for all children, and deployment may increase their fears. They may be drawn to adults for comfort, or, for older children and youth, they may sometimes withdraw from adults. It is important to keep lines of communication open, and assure children and youth know you are there to listen and help them throughout this complex time.

After Deployment

由于返回的日子更接近，家庭准备了更多的变化。他们可能对家庭成员的回归感到兴奋。他们可能会对与部署的家庭成员的关系发生变化感到有点紧张。部署的家庭成员返回时，家庭通过另一个过渡。非部署的护理人员可能对其变化的作用感到混合;这个人已经“独自完成了”一段时间，必须重新协调角色和期望。孩子们也可能很难将部署的家庭成员带回日常生活，他们的角色和责任可能也需要转移。部署的人可能会对他们适应家庭的疑虑。随着时间的推移，家庭稳定。

在父母回来前后，孩子可能会很兴奋，精力充沛。对于父母回来，孩子也可能会感到有点紧张和害羞。根据他们的年龄和以前的工作经历，孩子们可能会害怕认不出他们的父母。他们也可能担心父母会再次离开。他们可能会被家里发生的变化搞糊涂，因为家庭成员来访，他们的父母在协商新的角色。

See

How can programs support children who may be facing challenging life situations? Listen as this manager discusses how she and her program support children and families who experience deployment.

部署期间连接

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保护因素：培养幼儿和家庭的复原力

儿童和家庭的特征有可能在经历压力事件时保护它们的属性。儿童的复原力研究表明，儿童的显着保护因素是关怀，积极和保护性护理人员的一致性（零至六个合作组，全国儿童创伤压力网络，2010）。这个人可以成为特定儿童的持续资源，并鼓励他们谈论他们的经验，并提供儿童生活中成年人致力于保持安全的保证。

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, you can support children facing stressful challenges when you:

• Maintain consistent program routines as much as possible. This provides children with a much-needed sense of stability and safety.
• Provide opportunities for children to talk about what is going on, but do not force them to talk if they don't want to. Encouraging children to talk about their feelings and validating them strengthens children's coping skills as they hear that all their feelings are OK.
• Be watchful of changes in children's behaviors over time. Changes in behaviors, for example acting out or withdrawing from friends, may indicate that a child needs extra support.
• 鼓励家庭连接与其他家庭who may be dealing with similar stressors. Connecting with others allows families to share experiences and coping strategies.

The remainder of this lesson focuses on how you can support children and families before, during, and after deployment.

支持Before Deployment

Most importantly, you can help families find the resources they need, such as Military One Source (http://www.milelatehone.mil/) or other resources available in their particular Service. Pre-deployment counseling can help families learn ways to prepare children for the deployment.

鼓励家庭与孩子坦诚地谈论部署事宜。对于家庭来说，帮助孩子理解以下内容很重要：

• Why the parent is leaving: The deploying parent has an important job to do and they know how to do the job well; they are not going alone.
• When the deploying parent is leaving
• What the family will do together before the parent leaves
• How the child will communicate with the parent while they are deployed
• What will stay the same when the parent leaves: for example, one parent will still be here for breakfast and dinner, the child will still go to the same school and school-age care program, the family will still have fun together, etc.

同时鼓励家庭开始思考如何帮助孩子感觉与父母亲近。在部署之前，父母和孩子是否可以交换个人物品（例如照片或喜爱的t恤）？

支持During Deployment

During periods of deployment, it is especially important that you help the child and family maintain normal routines. Early in the deployment is not the time to transition a child to a new program or caregiver. Reassure the child that their parent or guardian will pick the child up as usual. Provide comfort. Answer the child's questions as simply and matter-of-factly as possible.

将情绪素养和解决问题融入您的课程。帮助孩子学会认识并处理情绪。每天谈论情绪。看看孩子们有不同的情感的照片，阅读关于感受和部署的故事，做节日识别和谈论自己的感受的活动。帮助孩子制定镇静和处理愤怒或恐惧的策略。

Be prepared to help the parent with problems that arise. Parents may be confused by changes in their child's behavior. A parent may feel alone and unsure of how to provide discipline or guidance. The parent may feel frustrated by challenges--such as the child or youth "talking back," or not "paying attention" at school. The parent may go through periods of self-doubt, depression, or helplessness. Remember that it is important for parents to take care of their own mental and physical health. Help them connect with a Family Readiness Group, behavioral health counseling, or clergy. You can provide resources, training, and support around positive guidance and discipline. You can also help families think of ways to make life easier during the deployment. Use conversations, newsletters, and family nights to help families share ideas like:

• Keeping track of time by putting a coin in a jar each day of the deployment; the child can buy the parent a homecoming gift upon their return
• 去家庭徒步旅行
• 有一个家庭电影之夜
• 绘制图片或写信给部署的家庭成员
• 在院子里露营
• 单独使用每个孩子的时间安排“日期之夜”（或几天）
• 创建家庭日历
• Figure out a special way to say goodnight to the deployed family member each night

部署后支持

Celebrate with the family and the child. Answer questions and let the child talk. Acknowledge the child's feelings, and help the child find words or pictures to describe those feelings. Make sure they know all feelings are OK. It is normal to feel shy or nervous when you haven't seen someone for a while. Recognize that this is a major transition for the family, and they will likely need to be connected with resources and supports. Work with your program to identify resources you can share.

案例示例

Read the following scenario and think about the suggestions provided to support children in your care during the different phases of deployment.

Wayne and Natalia, parents of a child in your program, both serve in the military. They met while on assignment in Asia and have been serving together around the world ever since. They love travel and living in new places. In their eight year marriage, they have had two international assignments. They had their first child, Ximena, six years ago, and she is now a child in your school-age program. Although they have moved frequently, they have never been deployed at the same time-- until now. Wayne and Natalia have both been assigned six month tours of duty. In some regards, Wayne and Natalia feel well prepared for the trip: they know Natalia's mother will care for Ximena, and they have completed all the pre-deployment paperwork for Ximena's insurance and care. They feel less prepared for the emotional toll of such a long separation. What can you and your program do to help this family, and particularly Ximena, before, during, and after the dual deployment?

You may consider the following:

• Encourage the family to begin talking with Ximena about the upcoming deployment.
• 谈谈父母要去哪里，为什么。
• 让Ximena做好保持现状的准备：她会像现在一样睡在奶奶家，她仍然会在放学前后去学校和你的学龄计划，她仍然会玩她最喜欢的游戏，吃她最喜欢的食物，还有她特别的洋娃娃和玩具。
• 创建关于她的父母的个性化故事，而在她在学校时，他们就会在Ximena读取的时候发生了什么。
• 在该计划中困难时期创建可以舒适西纳的特殊物品（例如，在安静的时间内为Ximena提供妈妈或爸爸的衬衫之一，以便在安静的时间内依偎在阅读区域中）。
• 在学校提供Ximena，并在学校具有一致的常规和可预测的仪式。
• 在学校包括提醒关于Ximena似乎困难的例程。你也可以对家里挑战的例程做同样的事情。
• Talk with Ximena about emotions and encourage her to share her emotions by writing notes to her parents. Comfort her when she needs extra support.
• Share messages or notes that the parents sent to the school-age program to be shared with Ximena.
• Provide honest responses to Ximena's questions or comments about her parents. For example, if she shares that she is scared, you can say, "I am scared sometimes too," or you can address a question about her parents by saying, "Your mom and dad are doing everything they can to be safe." Avoid elaborate responses which can be overwhelming to her.
• 当Ximena的父母回家后，帮助Ximena谈谈她的情绪：焦虑、害羞、兴奋。确保她知道所有的情绪都正常。
• Organize a special activity that involves Ximena and her parents once they are back from deployment. For example, a parent-child breakfast, snack or picnic.
• Encourage Ximena to express her feelings and share how she feels.

Take Care of Yourself

你为孩子和家庭提供了至关重要的支持。但是，如果你不照顾好自己，你就不能做到这一点。帮助儿童度过困难和有时悲惨的时期可能是非常具有挑战性的。你可能会发现你自己的心理健康反映了你周围人的心理健康。一定要花时间考虑自己的需要。和你周围的人谈谈你的感受。与管理员讨论社区中遇到部署或丢失的家庭的资源。照顾好自己会使你更好地照顾孩子。你也可以在网上学到更多关于自我照顾的知识Social & Emotional Learning for Teachers (SELF-T)and theSelf & Cultural Understandingcourses.